theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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