Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
