Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize