so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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