He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
