I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
