You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
