Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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