Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
