K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
