a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
