he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
