I look better un-naked...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
