You're completely useless in the revolution.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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