so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
