i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
