No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
