seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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