I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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