hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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