Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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