and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
honey bunches of taint.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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