I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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