just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize