If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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