Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize