Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
