Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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