come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
