I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
