So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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