im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
