I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize