I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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