Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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