wakey wakey hands off snakey
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
