yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
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