You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
