would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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