Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
