I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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