Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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