You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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