she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
