I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have post one night stand depression
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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