I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
