Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
