The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
