You made me cry and you don't even care
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
