Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
