when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
