Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
