After last night, I could never be a politician.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
