apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
soo... how was my night?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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