I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
