they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
