He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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